The Psychology of Vulgar Gestures: Lust, Power, or Provocation?

Sexual harassment does not always involve physical contact, unwanted advances or spoken comments. Sometimes it happens through a gesture, an expression or a sexually suggestive movement directed at someone who has not invited that attention. It can happen in an office, at a party, inside a club, in a public place or even through online communication.

Imagine a woman working in an office when a male colleague makes an inappropriate sexual gesture toward her. In another situation, a man at a party notices a woman and deliberately makes a vulgar gesture to get her attention. Sometimes the behaviour is accompanied by a smirk, laughter or repeated attempts to provoke a reaction. In other cases, the person makes the gesture and then behaves as though nothing happened.

But what is happening psychologically? Is the person genuinely expressing sexual interest, seeking sexual gratification, trying to dominate someone or simply enjoying the discomfort and embarrassment of the woman he is targeting?

The behaviour involves more than sexual attraction alone. Hostility, dominance, social learning, peer approval, reward-seeking and attitudes toward women can all contribute to sexually inappropriate behaviour.

Understanding these motivations requires looking beyond the gesture itself and examining what the person might be trying to achieve through it.

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When Does a Sexual Gesture Become Harassment?

Sexual gestures can communicate different meanings depending on the situation, relationship and cultural context. A gesture exchanged between two people who share mutual interest may be interpreted as flirting. The same gesture directed at an unwilling stranger, colleague or acquaintance can become an unwanted sexual interaction.

Consider a workplace situation where a man repeatedly makes vulgar gestures toward a female colleague whenever they cross paths. She does not encourage the behaviour, appears uncomfortable and tries to avoid interacting with him. However, he continues.

The important distinction is not simply whether the gesture has a sexual meaning. It is whether the behaviour is unwanted and directed at someone in a way that violates their personal boundaries or dignity.

Psychologists commonly distinguish between three related forms of sexual harassment: gender harassment, unwanted sexual attention and sexual coercion.

• Gender harassment: Behaviour that communicates hostility, disrespect, humiliation or exclusion based on someone’s gender.
• Unwanted sexual attention: Unwelcome sexual gestures, comments, advances or other sexual behaviour.
• Sexual coercion: Using professional, educational or other forms of power to pressure someone into sexual activity.

This classification demonstrates that sexual harassment is not limited to attempts to initiate sexual contact. Some behaviours are intended to demean or intimidate rather than establish a sexual connection.

Research discussed in the National Academies report Sexual Harassment of Women: Climate, Culture, and Consequences in Academic Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (2018) also emphasizes that gender harassment and unwanted sexual attention are distinct but related forms of harassment.

The distinction matters because an inappropriate sexual gesture does not automatically reveal sexual attraction. Its psychological meaning depends on the surrounding behaviour, the relationship and the person’s possible motivation.

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Sexual Attraction or the Desire to Provoke?

One of the most important questions is whether a person making vulgar sexual gestures is genuinely interested in the woman or simply wants to provoke her.

Sexual attraction and sexual harassment are not interchangeable concepts. A person can experience sexual attraction without violating another person’s boundaries. Similarly, sexually harassing behaviour can involve hostility, entitlement or a desire to assert power rather than a genuine interest in establishing intimacy.

Imagine a man at a social gathering who notices a woman he finds attractive. Instead of approaching her respectfully or attempting a mutually welcomed conversation, he makes a vulgar sexual gesture and watches her reaction.

There may be different motivations behind this behaviour:

• He may be seeking sexual attention or attempting to communicate sexual interest.
• He may believe that making an explicit gesture is an acceptable way to initiate interaction.
• He may want to embarrass the woman or make her uncomfortable.
• He may be testing how much inappropriate behaviour he can get away with.
• He may be seeking approval or amusement from people watching him.

A 2023 review of work-related sexual and gender harassment by Madsen and Nielsen discusses how harassment can be rooted in power and gender dynamics rather than simply sexual attraction. The authors also explain the distinction between unwanted sexual attention and gender harassment (Madsen & Nielsen, 2023).

Similarly, a 2025 systematic scoping review by van Tuijl and colleagues identified several explanations for sexual harassment in public spaces, including individual behavioural tendencies, communicative motivations, peer dynamics and broader social norms.

These findings suggest that sexual attraction alone cannot explain every instance of unwanted sexual behaviour.

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The Pleasure of Making Someone Uncomfortable

Some individuals may not be particularly interested in establishing a sexual connection with the woman they target. Instead, they may be more interested in observing her reaction.

Imagine a man making an inappropriate gesture toward a woman and then watching whether she becomes embarrassed, looks away, gets irritated or freezes momentarily. If he repeats the behaviour whenever he sees her, the reaction itself may become part of what motivates him.

Psychologically, this can involve provocation and reward-seeking.

The person may experience a sense of satisfaction from knowing that a small action has affected someone else’s emotional state. He may feel that he has gained attention, control or an advantage in the interaction.

Several possible reactions can become rewarding to such an individual:

• Seeing the woman become visibly uncomfortable.
• Making her feel embarrassed in front of other people.
• Getting an angry or shocked response.
• Observing that she avoids eye contact or moves away.
• Feeling that he can provoke someone without facing immediate consequences.

Research on aggression provides some insight into why aggressive behaviour can sometimes become rewarding. In a 2016 study, Chester and DeWall examined retaliatory aggression using functional brain imaging. Their findings suggested that reward-related activity in the brain could be associated with aggressive decisions following provocation (Chester & DeWall, 2016).

However, this research examined retaliatory aggression, not sexual harassment through gestures. It cannot establish that every person who makes vulgar gestures experiences pleasure from another person’s discomfort.

The broader psychological possibility is that provoking a reaction can reinforce behaviour when the individual finds the resulting attention, emotional response or perceived control rewarding.

This also helps explain why some people repeat inappropriate behaviour even when they know the recipient does not appreciate it.

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Dominance, Control and Nonverbal Boundary Violation

Sexual gestures can sometimes function as a way of asserting dominance over another person.

Consider an office environment where a male employee repeatedly makes sexually suggestive gestures toward a female colleague. He does not necessarily attempt to approach her physically or initiate a conversation. Instead, he uses gestures to communicate something inappropriate while continuing his normal workplace activities.

This creates an uncomfortable situation because the recipient may feel forced to decide whether to confront him, ignore him or report the behaviour.

The person making the gesture may understand that the behaviour is inappropriate but still continue because it gives him an opportunity to test the woman’s boundaries.

This can involve several psychological dynamics:

Boundary testing: The person makes an inappropriate gesture and observes whether the recipient objects. If there is no immediate confrontation, he may interpret the lack of response as an opportunity to repeat the behaviour. Silence, however, does not indicate consent.

Perceived control: The person may feel that he can influence another person’s emotional state without directly confronting them.

Intimidation: Repeated gestures can make the recipient feel watched, targeted or uncomfortable in an environment where she should be able to participate freely.

Plausible deniability: When confronted, the person may claim that the gesture was misunderstood, was a joke or did not have the meaning attributed to it.

These behaviours can make nonverbal harassment particularly difficult to address because a gesture may be brief, ambiguous to observers or difficult to document.

Research on sexual harassment recognizes the importance of power relationships, organizational environments and the ability of individuals to influence or constrain others. Burn (2019) discusses sexual harassment through sociocultural gender and power perspectives, emphasizing how individual behaviour interacts with situational and social factors.

However, one gesture alone cannot establish that someone is deliberately attempting to dominate another person. Repeated behaviour, context and the response to boundaries provide more meaningful evidence.

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Hostile Misogyny: When Sexual Behaviour Becomes an Expression of Disrespect

Not every sexually inappropriate gesture is driven by sexual interest. Sometimes the behaviour may reflect hostility toward women or resentment toward their independence and participation in social or professional spaces.

This is where hostile sexism and misogynistic attitudes become relevant.

Hostile sexism involves antagonistic attitudes toward women, particularly when they are perceived as challenging traditional gender roles, male authority or established expectations.

Imagine a woman who is confident, professionally successful or unwilling to entertain unwanted attention. A man who feels threatened by her independence may respond with disrespectful comments, sexually suggestive gestures or attempts to embarrass her.

In such situations, the behaviour may be less about attraction and more about expressing contempt, entitlement or resentment.

Psychologists have also distinguished between hostile and benevolent sexism. While hostile sexism expresses antagonism toward women, benevolent sexism presents seemingly positive attitudes through protective or paternalistic assumptions that can still reinforce gender inequality.

These concepts should not be confused. A vulgar sexual gesture may reflect hostility or objectification, but it does not automatically demonstrate a specific form of sexism.

The National Academies’ 2018 report on sexual harassment explains that gender harassment can communicate hostility, objectification, exclusion or second-class status toward members of a gender. It also discusses how harassment may be directed at women who violate traditional gender expectations.

This provides an important perspective: sexually inappropriate behaviour can sometimes be a method of expressing gender-based disrespect rather than an attempt to establish intimacy.

It would nevertheless be inaccurate to assume that every man who makes a vulgar gesture has a lifelong hatred of women. Individual motivations can differ, and a single incident cannot establish someone’s psychological history or underlying beliefs.

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Why Do Some Men Perform These Gestures in Front of Other Men?

An interesting dimension of sexually inappropriate behaviour appears when other people are present.

Imagine a group of men standing together at a club or social gathering. One man notices a woman nearby and makes a vulgar gesture. Instead of focusing entirely on the woman, he also looks toward his friends, smiles or laughs.

In this situation, the behaviour may have a social audience.

The person may be attempting to demonstrate confidence, sexual boldness or dominance in front of other men. The woman’s discomfort can become secondary to the reaction he receives from his friends.

This is sometimes discussed through the concept of performative masculinity.

The behaviour may be influenced by:

• Peer approval: Friends laughing or encouraging the gesture can reinforce the behaviour.
• Group identity: Inappropriate sexual behaviour may become part of how some individuals demonstrate belonging to a particular social group.
• Masculinity contests: Some men may feel pressure to demonstrate toughness, sexual confidence or dominance to gain recognition from other men.
• Social reinforcement: When inappropriate behaviour receives attention or approval rather than criticism, the individual may become more likely to repeat it.

A 2025 systematic scoping review by van Tuijl and colleagues identified peer dynamics as one of the important relationship-level factors associated with sexual harassment in public spaces. The authors also highlighted the importance of addressing group dynamics and social norms when developing prevention strategies.

A 2024 study by Pryor, Stutterheim and Lemmens examined workplace sexual harassment among 600 men. It found associations between self-reported sexually harassing behaviours, certain dark personality traits and workplace masculinity-contest culture norms.

These findings do not mean that all male groups encourage harassment or that every man who behaves inappropriately is seeking peer approval. They demonstrate why the surrounding social environment can matter when examining sexually harassing behaviour.

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Online Sexual Gestures and Digital Disinhibition

Sexually inappropriate gestures are not limited to physical environments. Similar behaviour can occur through online communication, including direct messages, chat applications, video calls and social media platforms.

For example, a man may send an unwanted sexually suggestive image, make explicit gestures during a video call or repeatedly use sexual emojis and inappropriate visual signals toward a woman who has not welcomed such communication.

The psychological environment changes when the interaction takes place online.

People may feel less restrained because they are physically separated from the recipient. They may also believe that their identity is difficult to trace or that the consequences of their behaviour will be limited.

This connects with the concept of online disinhibition.

Psychologist John Suler (2004) described the online disinhibition effect, explaining how people may behave more openly or intensely online than they would during face-to-face interactions.

He identified several contributing factors, including anonymity, invisibility, asynchronous communication and the perceived separation between online and offline identities.

In the context of unwanted sexual behaviour, these factors may make some individuals more willing to send inappropriate messages or gestures that they might hesitate to express in person.

However, online disinhibition is not the only explanation. Entitlement, hostility, sexual interest, provocation and social reinforcement can also influence digital behaviour.

The absence of physical proximity does not make unwanted sexual communication harmless. An online interaction can still create embarrassment, intimidation and emotional discomfort.

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What Is Actually Driving the Behaviour?

The same vulgar sexual gesture can have different psychological motivations depending on the person and situation.

Someone may be attempting to express sexual interest without understanding or respecting boundaries. Another person may be deliberately seeking embarrassment, attention or a feeling of dominance. A third may be performing for friends or expressing hostility toward women.

The following comparison helps distinguish these possible motivations.

Sexual gratification: The person may be seeking sexual attention, arousal or an opportunity to communicate sexual interest. However, sexual interest does not justify unwanted gestures or disregard for consent.

Psychological gratification: The person may enjoy provoking a reaction, creating embarrassment or observing another person’s discomfort. In some cases, the reaction itself may become a source of reinforcement.

Dominance and control: The person may use sexually inappropriate behaviour to communicate superiority, test boundaries or make another individual feel intimidated.

Hostile attitudes toward women: The behaviour may express misogyny, resentment, entitlement or disrespect toward women, particularly when they challenge expected gender roles.

Social gratification: The individual may be attempting to impress friends, gain approval or demonstrate a particular image of masculinity in front of others.

These motivations are not mutually exclusive. A person may experience sexual interest while also seeking control, attention or social approval.

A 2025 review by van Tuijl and colleagues found that explanations for public-space sexual harassment involve multiple individual, relationship, community and societal factors. The authors also noted that research into perpetrators’ motivations remains limited in several areas.

This is why it is important not to diagnose someone’s personality or assume a single motivation from one gesture.

Ultimately, sexual harassment through vulgar gestures is not simply a question of whether someone experiences sexual desire. It is also about how that person chooses to express themselves, whether they respect another person’s boundaries and what they may be trying to achieve through the interaction.

The difference between consensual sexual expression and unwanted sexual behaviour lies in the presence of mutual interest, respect and consent. When a person repeatedly uses sexual gestures to embarrass, intimidate or provoke someone, the behaviour can reveal much more about their attitudes toward boundaries and other people’s autonomy than about their sexual attraction.

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Research References

1. Madsen, I. E. H., & Nielsen, M. B. D. (2023). Work-related sexual and gender harassment: Conceptual challenges and the need for evidence-based prevention. Scandinavian Journal of Work, Environment & Health, 49(7), 449–452. https://doi.org/10.5271/sjweh.4121
2. Burn, S. M. (2019). The Psychology of Sexual Harassment. Teaching of Psychology, 46(1). https://doi.org/10.1177/0098628318816183
3. van Tuijl, C. J. W., te Brinke, L. W., Gonçalves, M., & van der Waal, J. (2025). Why Do People Perpetrate Sexual Harassment in Public Space? A Systematic Scoping Review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380251397408
4. Chester, D. S., & DeWall, C. N. (2016). The pleasure of revenge: Retaliatory aggression arises from a neural imbalance toward reward. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 11(7), 1173–1182. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsv082
5. Pryor, J. B., Stutterheim, S. E., & Lemmens, L. H. J. M. (2024). The relationships of sexually harassing behaviors to organizational context factors and working men’s dark personality traits. Aggressive Behavior, 50(2), e22142. https://doi.org/10.1002/ab.22142
6. Suler, J. (2004). The Online Disinhibition Effect. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 7(3), 321–326. https://doi.org/10.1089/1094931041291295
7. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2018). Sexual Harassment of Women: Climate, Culture, and Consequences in Academic Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. The National Academies Press. https://doi.org/10.17226/24994